As I begin anew, I must first say goodbye to the blog I spent years building. I’m grateful for so many connections it allowed me to make with some of the most creative and beautiful souls I’ve ever known. I discovered and strengthened my love for writing and photography and sharing things that made my heart smile. But I need to share the other side and tell you how it became a sinful idol of mine and how I felt God pressing on my heart to acknowledge that truth and allow Him to refine me. I felt Him begin to press on my heart a few years ago as He was exposing the sin of greed taking hold in my heart. I was beginning to enjoy brand collaborations to an unhealthy and obsessive degree. Greed for material possessions had become my focus and I was aware of it and I harbored guilt but I loved my sin too much to change just yet. I tried to seek a balance by including things on the blog that glorified God but God can’t share space with sin. I wasn’t fully obeying God and He used the event of my father’s recent passing to create powerful change in me, thank the Lord! After walking through the deepest valley of my life, I am overflowing with praise for my King and through prayers and praise, I became convicted and no longer wanted to be a slave to that sin that had held me captive. I felt led to start fresh and while I don’t have any big or great plans, I will tell you that I am confident my Lord and Savior does and I am here to serve Him faithfully. Praise His holy name!
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”– Proverbs 3:5-6
My Dad’s story of surrendering to Christ is the true catalyst of what prompted me to turn on my sin and say goodbye to the blog. God was at work – overtime – in both me and my Dad in his final weeks here on earth. I watched as God used the pain that both my Dad and I went through – physical and emotional – for triumphant good. It is the most layered, beautiful story of my and my dad’s life and I know it is the Holy Spirit within me prompting these words to share His love with others.
Praise our wonderful Lord for walking faithfully by my family’s side throughout this deep and winding valley of our life. He held us in His hands four months ago when we learned Dad was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer that had metastasized to his brain. He held our lives in His loving hands a few weeks later when we learned the cancer was also wrapped around Dad’s thoracic spine. Through Dad experiencing a collapsed lung and being emergency hospitalized for almost a week with no visitors allowed. Through all of this, God was unfurling His beautiful plan and will and mercy and grace more abundantly to me than any other time in my life and I have only praise overflowing from my heart to serve the Savior who gave His life for all of ours.
I’m looking forward to unwrapping the layers of love I experienced through the loss of my Dad – something I never thought I’d be saying – but I am shouting praises forever for the unending love and goodness of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!